The Thought of Crossing Over to OCS

Am I being too unrealistic? Cant help putting away the thought of crossing over to ocs. I cant control my feelings and thoughts at times. All I can remember is that I cant stay motivated for more than 1 day. Feeling comes and goes.

Garang? Initiative? I'm nt mentally strong enough yet. There's a lot of things I wana achieve during this 1 yr and 10 mths. Got to stay positive and attain as many achievements as possible. Trainings might not be as tough as it is in BMT but just what is the factor making me so unmotivated to continue my daily life in NS? Gotta depend on musics to motivate myself everyday.

Brought one of my dumbbell into the camp. Let's hope I'll start training hard again.

Bought ps3 2 days ago. Not to mention FF13 lol! Impressive graphics :)

Been seeking inspiration from noobthenick's blog. Yea in order to make the full out of this NS life, cant be training physically forever, gotta start reading as well. Few more months before application for uni starts, this time round, I'll definitely make it. By then, I gotta make sure my english has been "polished". Looking through the past photos he had uploaded made me realized just how much we had grown. Time flies.

2 sunday burnt just for live firing. Cant go to church. I need to recharge lol. The one thing I never wana miss - attending church services.

Cant help looking at the lump sum of money I'll earn if I sign on. I supposed that is the binding factor plus I get to work in office and somewhere near my home. Signed the withdrawal form as my sunday will be burnt if I sign on. It's the right choice. I'm sure of it :)

Went for med checkup and same thing happened again. No results, come back again for X ray. it's the sec or third time I've been feeling a slight pain all of a sudden. What's happening???

Free time is what I really need now.